I like Dustin Elliot. I'll put that on record right at the outset, and I'll also put on the record the fact that I know he was a PRCA world champion and has made a living at this bull riding stuff for a while. And I do enjoy his cheekily laconic comment "It's only eight seconds; how hard can it be?" in the TV commercial (by way of unsubtle irony, I'm known to yell "I dunno, Elliot, how hard can it be?" when he bucks off).
But I swear, every time I watch Dustin Elliot ride, he falls off. Every time! Sometimes the bull, normally as placid as a footstool, reacts as though it's been pumped full of of PCP. Sometimes he's got a secure seat and he's at 7.4 seconds when he is struck by a rogue meteorite and knocked to the ground. It's amazing. Low-flying satellites, freak winds, broken bull ropes, bulls that suddenly craze out, seagulls, it's always something.
So how does he stay in the PBR? How did he win the world champion in the PRCA? Clearly, he's only successful when I'm not watching, and he's always unsuccessful when I am watching. I'm tempted to go out to the kitchen and get a hot dog or a glass of water while he's riding just to take the Triple Whammy off of him.
It must be just like that whammy you used to put on me and the boys when we'd go fishing dear. The only times we caught anything were the times we didn't tell you we were going.
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Some people are like slinkies. They don't have a purpose But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs
